In order to keep The Sanford Arms, Fred and Lamont must raise $4,000 in a week. They begin to scramble and Fred turns to gambling. First he puts together a card game and plays against a hustler and then he makes a little trip to the horse track and bets on the horses. Finally, a trip to a casino ends with unexpected results.
Ed does not feel like appearing at his own birthday party. Chico however tries to find a way for Ed to go, so he gets ahold of a good old friend of Ed's and has him impersonate the voice of God by hooking sound equipment and a microphone all over the garage.
When Mr. Grace announces that he plans on temporarily reorganizing the departments, the staff are indignant, but find that work can be a lot of fun...if you're working in the toy department.
Sweet Tooth plans to ruin children's health by turning Gotham City's water supply into chocolate syrup.
The Baldwin's niece, Hillary Von Kleist, comes for a visit from Vienna. Jason joins the National Guard over Olivia's objections.
When a female college student is killed on campus, suspicion falls on a prison inmate allowed temporary release to work in the college's print-shop.
J.J. is all excited about taking Michael to a father-son dinner but when Michael breaks the news that he invited Carl to take him, J.J. storms out.
Hawkeye and BJ try to stop a chopper pilot from selling souvenirs derived from war materials derived from locals facing danger getting them, and Klinger becomes a pole-sitter in his latest attempt to get a Section Eight.
Thinking her life is dull and that she's always treated like a little kid, Joanie wants to join the Red Devils' gang.
The battle of the sexes lands on the frontline when a Woman's Airforce Pilots squad arrives at the base.
Maude learns more than she would like to know about Vivian, when she tries to figure out why Vivian is behaving so strangely.
A top neuroscientist is asked to do a bit of moonlighting work by one of his assistants. Eyebrows are raised when the unknown client is willing to pay one million dollars up front. The neuroscientist smells a rat and contacts Oscar Goldman. Oscar devises a plan to send Steve Austin in his place and to ensure the assistant doesn't sound the alarm bells he is drugged and a fake car crash is set up. Steve trains as a neuroscientist - using his bionic powers he learns everything within a day. Reporting for duty Steve is kidnapped and later awakes at a secret location ...
After the streetwise Detectives capture a rapist, they are outraged when the thug is let off with a lenient court sentence. Starsky openly vents his disgust at such light punishment - attracting the interests of a vigilante Police 'death squad.’
Bob is held hostage in his office by a friendly bank robber.
Live from New York, It's... Steve Martin! Sketches include "Steve Martin's Ego Trip," "Coneheads' Tax Audit," "Celebrity Weightlifting," "Dr. Breadloaf's Quickloss Diet Book," "Pulling the Plug," "Broadway Baby," "Hollywood Bingo," "From the Big Orange to the Big Apple" (film), "Roots II," and "Plenty in Common."