After Fred gets a minor injury from a car accident, Lamont and Fred seek to find a maid to help out around the house. After looking, they get what the agency has at the bottom of the barrel. However, the erratic white woman does nothing but add to Fred's pain.
Sketches include The Tudor Jobs Agency, Elizabethan Pornography Smugglers, Thripshaw's Disease and The Man Who Says Words in the Wrong Order.
Whilst in London at a conference with the Chief, Ed witnesses an assassination, and promptly becomes the killer's next target. Meanwhile he and Ironside have to work with the local forces to find the assassin, but find themselves hampered by the Superintendent on the case, an old friend of the Chief's who seems to have a hidden agenda.
Mary Ellen meets a traveling troubadour, Jamie and neglects her responsibilities of helping pick fruit.
Jamie obtains an Irish setter pup and forms a special bond between dog and man. The dog's owner learns the puppy is at the Ponderosa and arrives to claim it ... so he can put it to sleep (since it was a runt and, according to the master, an inferior example of the breed. The dog is soon in a trial for its life.
A husband and wife team of scam merchants get caught between some of Hawaii's most powerful mobs.
Maude is stunned to discover a black man picketing in front of her home. It isn't until later that she discovers that Walter and her have unwittingly become the owners of a rundown apartment building and they are now being labeled ""slumlords"".
Danko's veteran partner (Earl Holliman) loses his family ranch and unborn son in a single day. Danko doesn't want to add to his woes by reporting on his growing rage on and off the job.
A man neglects his family in favor of raising his prize possession: a race horse
Lucy Carter, a widow with two teen children, takes a job as a secretary for her stuffy brother-in-law.
A prisoner for life yearning for freedom submits to a cellmate's experiments in mind over matter, with tragic results.
Cooke discusses where the West begins and how and why in the early 19th century the West was conquered by outsiders who, in the process of doing so, displaced the Native Americans.
Hawkeye writes home, describing Christmas in Korea: Radar ships a jeep home, a piece at a time; Henry gives the monthly lecture on sex, with the aid of figure A and figure B; Trapper helps deliver a calf; Klinger and Frank get into a fight, but Father Mulcahy smoothes things over; Hawkeye and Trapper sabotage Margaret's tent; Hawkeye flies to the front line dressed as Santa, to help a wounded soldier.
Rhoda decides to move back to New York but Mary is taking the whole thing with a grain of salt.
Archie is ecstatic when, after waiting six years, there finally is an opening on the most prestigious bowling team, the Cannonballers, and he is asked to try out.
The crew of Los Angeles County Fire Department Station 51, particularly the paramedic team, and Rampart Hospital respond to emergencies in their operating area.
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry, two of the most wanted outlaws in the history of the West, are popular "with everyone except the railroads and the banks".