Mary meets her secret admirer but faces legal issues on the road to romance. When a philandering hotel guest (guest star Dave Foley) loses his wedding ring at a local brothel, Mike agrees to help him find it by investigating the establishment. Meanwhile, Danny and Ed do some investigating of their own to respect a friend's last wish for justice.
Jake's visiting accountant brother Brian (guest-star Tom Parker) from LA says he sees no future for Jake and Nina, prompting Jake to seek advice from Andy. Also, accepted at Princeton, Amy assumes that her father secretly sent in her application. Lastly, health issues create tension between Rose and Harold, but the tension turns to fear when Harold finds out that Rose has a 3-centimeter long tumor.
After a bitter custody battle, shots are fired outside the courthouse. Bullets fly and the target is the little girl's mother. Horatio goes after the father, who he suspects may not be the girl's biological father after all. However, when the mother's shady past is uncovered, the team finds that she has a lot of enemies who would like to take a shot at her. Meanwhile, Calleigh's father returns to the crime lab for her guidance but for an unexpected reason.
When her boyfriend cancels their date for the senior party because she won't have sex with him, a depressed Spirit gets drunk on way to the event and misses all of the festivities. Meanwhile, Danielle and Candy are convinced they are being stood up by their dates with Flex and Duane, but unbeknownst to them, the guys are being held up at gunpoint by a man (Chingy) down on his luck.
After sleeping with bandmate Finn, Lynn believes that she can deal with an open relationship, but becomes extremely jealous whenever she sees him with other women. Meanwhile, Joan forces William to attend Toni's baby shower, although he believes such events should only be for women. He gives Toni an heirloom cradle that he expects to get back in the future for his own kids, only to learn that Toni has given it away to her cleaning lady (before firing her).
There's a hysteria in America. A hysteria about what's become known as "the traditional family" and the desperate urgency to "save" it. And this rallying cry is not just coming from right wing conservatives and religious groups in the Red States (although, they're doing their share of tub-thumping.) The media (advertisers) and the government also have a vested interest in perpetuating the traditional concept of family: mother, father, two kids, dog and picket fence. But this hysteria is ignoring a key fact, the "traditional family" is bullshit. The traditional family structure may be for some, but it isn't for everyone. Shouldn't we stop trying to jam square pegs into round holes? Isn't it time for "Bullshit" to redefine the definition of "family?"
Krypto and Ace take on a mutant dog-plant hybrid who is stealing all the trees in Metropolis.
Gigi decides that a new bed – one her ex-boyfriend hasn’t touched – will be the only way to start fresh in her love life. While her friends Stella and Francesca are off bedding porn stars and movers, Gigi continues her search for a new mattress, and a new man to test it out. Unfortunately, her new bed is soon broken in by a howling ex-pimp. To make matters worse, while mattress-shopping, Gigi bumps into her ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend who happen to be purchasing a bed for their new shared room.
Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry has died. They all attend the funeral, including Jake who is excited at the opportunity of seeing a ""dead guy"". Charlie is excited by the opportunity of a newly single widow, and Alan is just happy to pay his respects to Harry.
Mona entertains overtures from the head of a rival record company, who hopes to hire her away from Delicious. She seeks her father's advice on how to handle the situation, leading to resentment from Phyllis. Meanwhile, Big Dee Dee plans a lavish 15-month ""birthday"" party for Drew in the hopes of showing up her friends.
Ray's latest manipulative plan involves constantly turning down Debra in the bedroom.
After Logan authorizes Palmer to take charge of the crisis, Palmer sanctions Jack and Curtis to infiltrate the Chinese Embassy on a covert operation to capture a suspect. Tony and Michelle continue to bump into each other's personal lives, while Buchanan expresses anger at being kept out of the mission. Jack faces Audrey's wrath when a medical dilemma places Paul's life in jeopardy.
When a case from ten years is re-opened, Allison finds herself in a chaotic situation. Things continue to get messier when Allison finds out that the convicted man is innocent, and that someone she knows and trusts may have been involved in his framing.
Gabrielle plans a big party to bid farewell to Carlos, who is about to head off to jail for eight months. Meanwhile George Williams resurfaces in Bree's life, much to Rex's displeasure. Also, Lynette is shocked to learn that Tom's old girlfriend Annabel Foster who he dumped for Lynette has been hired at his firm again. Meanwhile, Zach continues to stalk Julie while Mike tries to separate Susan from Mary Alice's past secrets. Lastly, housewife Gabrielle is suspecting that she's pregnant.
Homer meets a new friend, Ray the Roofer, but gets confined to a mental institution when his friends and family believe he made him up.
When Bart endangers his health by bingeing on vending-machine food, the Simpsons turn their home into a hostel in order to afford sending him to a forced starvation facility.
Peter and Lois decide to go on a second honeymoon. But when Peter crashes the car, he decides to pose as Mel Gibson to stay in his fancy hotel suite, where they find a copy of a "The Passion of the Christ" sequel. They attempt to destroy the film and end up being chased by two priests who went to retrieve the film.
Izzie tries to get George to find the courage to ask Meredith out. All of the interns are in awe when a woman comes in with a record breaking tumor, but it is so far advanced that the woman's prognosis is not good. Now that Bailey knows about Meredith and Derek's affair, their jobs are in jeopardy, and she advises Meredith to end it. Meanwhile, Cristina and Burke's secret relationship is also getting more complicated...
Wolcott draws Utter's ire during the questioning of a suspect. Merrick is overzealous in re-establishing his newspaper. Fields and Hostetler have little luck with a wild horse. Swearengen alters his agreement with Miss Isringhausen.
After Lois and Hal are reminded of the tight budget they must uphold, Hal discovers one of his boys has been dialing a 900 number. His attempt to explain the error to the hotline's billing department turns awry when he forgets to hang up the phone, incurring a whopping $800 charge. Meanwhile, Reese takes a job at a research clinic that pays him to pop experimental pills, and a reluctant Malcolm takes on a mortifying job at the Lucky Aide as a costumed Uncle Sam on stilts.